


The Beat of the Universe

by vidocqsociety



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-06
Updated: 2012-09-06
Packaged: 2017-11-13 16:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vidocqsociety/pseuds/vidocqsociety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A heartbeat can say so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beat of the Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/9218.html?thread=21242370#t21242370) over at the [kink meme](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com).

It starts off in small ways. Unnoticeable ways. They're still in the beginning of their relationship, when it's still all constant touching and contact simply because they can. Tony's hand always settles on the pulse point at Steve's neck when they kiss, his two middle fingers pressing in just enough to feel the steady rhythm of Steve himself.

Steve isn't stupid, though. Eventually he notices. Tony will shift during movie night, lying in such a way that his ear is on Steve's chest. He knows it isn't comfortable. Whenever he gets up for more food (and he's always the one to get up), he comes back to Tony rubbing his neck. Eventually, Steve takes up the entire couch, stretching out, and letting Tony lie practically on top of him. His head is always on Steve's chest.

Steve doesn't mind. It's just another one of Tony's quirks, like not being handed things. He goes with it. When they're sitting together, Tony's fingers will settle on his wrist. When they lie together, his head will fall on Steve's chest. When they have sex, Tony will kiss him everywhere, tongue running over his veins with a kind of reverence Steve had not known before.

"Why?" Steve asks one night. They're lying in bed together after sex, still sweaty, their breathing almost back to normal. Tony's head on Steve's chest. Tony says nothing. He rolls to his side. Steve shifts, and they are facing each other. Tony takes Steve's hand and puts it over his own chest. Steve can feel the warmth and hum of the arc reactor.

"This is my heartbeat now," Tony says. "And it's like this now because I was not a good person." Steve tries to say something, to dispute this, but Tony cuts him off. "No. I wasn't. I built things to destroy and to kill, and I built them without any thought as to the consequences others had to deal with. But then my eyes were opened, and I saw the world I had created. And I saw how I could start to fix it." Tony puts his hand over Steve's. "This is a constant reminder of what I have done, and of what I can do."

_A terrible privilege._ Bruce had told him about that moment in the lab, when Steve asked him why he came back the day they became a team. Steve had never forgotten it.

"But you?" Tony puts Steve's hand to his own chest, over his own heart. "This is what made this possible." Tony runs a hand down Steve's arm. Automatically, he straightens his arm enough for Tony's thumb to settle into the crook of his elbow. "It's the thing that makes you, _you_ ," Tony explains. Steve thinks back to that underground lab in Brooklyn, to when Dr. Erskine lay dying. He had used up the last of his strength and the last of his breath to point at his heart. A reminder to be a good man. "The body is nice. But the heart is what I love. It reminds me of _who_ I can be."

Steve puts his hand back over the arc reactor. The blue light glows around his fingers. The hum vibrates through his hand.

Tony's hand has moved back to Steve's chest. They lay there a moment, feeling each other's heartbeats. Their breathing syncs up. 

Steve thinks back to a book he's read recently. Natasha gave it to him, saying it was one of her favorites. One line comes back to him, with greater meaning than before. He kisses Tony sweetly.

_We are. We are. We are._

**Author's Note:**

> Title quote is from Joseph Campbell: "The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature."
> 
> The quote Steve's thinking of is from Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar: "I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am."


End file.
